hello, home

To have one heartbreak is to have one thousand. One thousand series of deaths to various degrees. Some matching the sensation of a small paper cut; waiting for a text that will never come, an unfulfilled desire to share good news, making one coffee instead of two. Some feel no different than an gunshot wound to the heart; complete shock, stillness that snaps one out of time, a wound bleeding out. Sometimes it all feels the same. With any death, there is an emptiness that throbs with new exposure to awareness. It is not supposed to feel good. Fuck no.

However one thing about death, is it always leads you home.

Yes, I am going through a break up. Which is it’s own type of heartbreak. There are many different ways for the heart to crack open, and many depths it can be cracked to. This is a tragic, yet oddly beautiful quality of life. One that teaches us to savor, to love, to return to presence. The emptiness that occupies what once was, is a doorway to what always has been: home.

Home is where the essence of existence gently holds all that is & all that is not.

Beyond what is known to our senses, and is the most true. What is true does not waver. It does not change. So when the things of this world break, the foundation that holds all becomes more clear.

So, hello, home. It is nice to see you again. I hope to stay here for as long as I can. To do so, I will allow my heart to break enough everyday to know you deeper.

Because the pain of breaking is nothing compared to what is reveled through the cracks. The essence of existence, Truth: love.